Love

Let me remind you that my advice/opinions about things will never be true to everyone. I'm the first person to admit that I do not know everything nor will I ever. I do, however, personally believe that I have experienced a lot of things in my life that are worth sharing for others' benefits. My first post is going to be about love.
Many of you may be thinking that I am too young to have experienced love. I do admit that 18 is a young age, and I still have plenty more to experience in my life, but love is definitely something I know I have somewhat experienced.
There are many different definitions of love, and it varies from person to person. Webster's dictionary defines love as a strong affection toward another, an attraction based on sexual desire, and affection based on admiration. Mother Teresa said, "I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love." I define love as something that combines both of these things and much more.
To me, love is a force. It is a magnet, drawing together two people that have indescribable feelings for one another. Love is something that can never truly be put into words. It is a maze that has an infinite number of twists and turns and paths that it can lead you on. It's a journey that tests yourself and the person you are in love with. In the end, you truly find out who you are, and you are blessed with an understanding of one of the most amazing things in the entire universe. Love isn't a feeling, it is a whole different entity; it is a creature from another world. It teaches you things you never thought you would be able to comprehend. It puts a beautiful spell on you, but it is very controlling. It has the ability to either make you the happiest, most blissful person or the most miserable, depressed and lonely. Like I said before, it can never be truly put into words, but I gave it my best shot.
I guess I owe you an explanation as to my experience of love. I can't give out too many details, for my next post will probably be about heartbreak. The love I experienced led to nothing but a dead end and a lake full of tears. It was, however, one of the most magical things I have ever had a chance to feel. You see, I'm a very solitary person. I have very few close friends and even fewer close family members. I have always preferred it that way. It lessened my chances of getting hurt. Unfortunately, there was one person who broke that barrier. Sadly, he broke it only through words and not actions. I only wish that I could see what my feelings might have blossomed into if we would have been able to spend more time together. Words are a dangerous things, friends. You have to be careful about what someone says to you. Make sure their intentions are true and their purpose noble. If only we were able to exchange more than words.. It makes me wonder what would have happened. It could have either led to more disaster, or it could have saved me from the trouble I am facing now.
Love revolves around two main things: physical and mental communication. The communication I received was only mental. It was made up of phone calls, text messages, and internet conversations. It wasn't long distance. I saw him on a regular basis, but the time was fleeting, and it was never in an environment where we could be together one-on-one. The times we did have together were decent for the most part, but I wonder if we would have realized that we weren't right for each other if our time together increased. Instead, the decision for our depart was based on logical reasons: age, profession, etc.Which is fine, but I also wonder if time together would have shown things between us being so great, we somehow would have had to made it work. I guess I'm not an expert on love after all. A successful relationship has to involve both mental and physical connections; mine was was mostly mental. What I felt was very strong and real and overpowering, though, and I will never forget it. I plan to stay friends with the person. There is no reason for me not to. However, it is the "what ifs" that haunt me some nights. You have to be careful not to let them devour you. The question "what if" is derived purely from the devil.
So whether you define love as something similar or something completely different than what I do, be careful not to let it destroy you. Take from it what you can, and don't surround yourself with the "what ifs." Life is fleeting, and love is one of the greatest things you can take from it. Don't be like me. Open up your heart to whomever you think is right. Test the waters; make sure the other person has true intentions. Base your decisions not solely on emotion, and be smart with who you do decide to truly love. Make sure it's not a lost cause like mine was.
It took a long time for me to finally post. Hopefully more are to come.
Until then, good night!

The Beginning (Again)

My first question to all who are reading is this: How many times in your life have you propositioned, "I'm starting over"?
Think about it.
This mentality starts before you can even remember. For example, say you're three years old, and you decide to construct a tower out of blocks. Then, without notice, your annoying older sibling comes along and knocks them down for their own entertainment. Afterward, you look down at that scattered pile of colored blocks lying on the floor and think, "I'm starting over."
This is only a simple example. As you get older, the saying "I'm starting over" tends to change in meaning. When you get to be about my age, which is beyond grade school and middle school, you reach the point where this phrase may have a bigger impact. It can still be applied to a scenario similar to the one in my example, but in the years following this point in your life, the term "I'm starting over" starts to refer to something different.
The term now refers to starting over in life.
Now, literally, that's not possible. You can't magically change yourself back into an embryo and crawl out of your mother's womb.
However, figuratively starting over in life can be achieved.
It can start with a simple change in behavior or mindset. Most people who "start over" in life do so because they think they have failed in some aspect. You can also achieve this "starting over" by making larger changes, like moving to a new city, getting a new job, finding new friends, or letting go of more drastic behaviors.
In fact, it can be any one or a combination of these few things. There are a lot more ways some people may try "starting over" in life, but these are the few that I think are the most common. These are also the few that I am about to start gearing up to achieve. (This is minus the moving to a new city and getting a new job. For Christ's sake, I'm only 18.)
I am starting this blog because I am about to figuratively "start over" in life. No older sibling knocked down my beautiful tower of blocks, it was myself, and that tower was the life that I had built up so far. I have made too many mistakes, and unfortunately, some of these mistakes will haunt me from this day forward.
I may be young, and some people may think that I'm being naive, but who are they to judge? Isn't this the perfect point in my life to be making this decision, to be changing myself before I can induce any more permanent damage? I think so.
If you don't agree, then leave. Don't spend your time reading this blog. This blog isn't just for me, it is for anyone else who feels the same way. It doesn't matter how old, or how significant the change in there life may be. It is about anyone willing to listen to insight on someone who has experienced a handful. It is about me sharing my experiences. It is about giving advice. And it is about being able to be the person looking over your own shoulder, watching your every step, and being able to say to yourself before it's too late, "Careful, you may slip and fall."